Qualms

Di ko alam kung bakit paminsan-minsan naiisip ko pa rin na mali ang nagging desisyon kong tumakbo. Para kasing there’s no turning back now. To put it bluntly, after being HR, I don’t want to be anything more. Eventhough, a lot of times, I’ve really thought about it…I don’t think I’d be able to live up to the pressure of everything. Ewan ko ba. It just seems as if, after a year of doing the job, I still can’t seem to work things out. Well, I guess it’s because I want to prove a lot of things in this world – which apparently, I cannot. But I guess I shall take this challenge and prove myself wrong.

Time and again, I look back at that time when I dreamt of becoming the HR. And when I look back, I realize that the Jem I was before was very different. I was too idealistic before, as compared to how I am now. But then again, I guess the passion is still there. I don’t know what I am trying to say here, honestly. I’m just typing away…all the thoughts that come…negative things..positive things…about Strains that can either hurt me or make me happy.

But in the end, I guess all the doubts and fears should still be faced. I should still live up to the expectations of a lot of people, to some point. I don’t really know what will happen in the future, but I would surely be in control of the things I would be doing. Oh well…one step at a time. I can’t possibly save the whole world before my bedtime. And I can’t possible save everyone in my world in a day. But I guess I can…eventually.