Super Six 2005-2006 

Goodbye s6

I’ll surely miss Panyang, TJ and Ara.

I never really realized how much my life has changed since I became an s6. This meant less trips to the Caf w/ my blockmates, which I painfully regret. But that’s life. I guess it was because of my commitments and my choices. But now, I know I’m trying my best to hold the pieces together.

I’ll surely miss Panyang, my beloved TNT. She was the first one to make me realize a lot of things. Though I know she doubted me in the beginning, all is well now. Sabi niya naman sa akin na I proved her wrong already. Not that I tried to please her. But I guess she was really one of the people who really had their eyes on me. Wala nang tatawa sa mga corny jokes ko, magagalit kapag magulo kami sa meeting, makikinig sa mga kwento ko about the block at higit sa lahat, mahihingahan ng sama ng loob sa mga maaarte sa mundo. Hahahaha…Panyang is the practical side of things that balances out everything that we dream of in the s6,...Oh well.

TJ is special. Lagi naman nilang sinasabi yun e. Our platonic relationship, (lagi kaming niloloko ni Panyang na someday baka magkatuluyan kami!) was something I really needed to adjust to everything. TJ’s presence meant that we were always safe. The Great Provider ang tawag naming kay TJ, and though he’s my Lolo and my Nanay Panyang calls him Daddy Teej, he never fails to be the missing Dad to me. The gourmet breakfasts, lunches and dinners will never happen I guess. Our sleepless nights doing S6 work in his condo won’t have any replays…Wala na rin yung siksikan sa loob ng car ni Teej to go to different places…or even to Mcdo. Idol ko si Teej. Yung nararamdaman ko ngayon, parang yung naramdaman ko nung umalis si Mig..yun bang pakiramdam na mawawala na yung taong tinitingala mo, hinihingahan mo ng problema. Well, I guess it’s for the best. They have to move on as well. And I have to move on too.

Ara…is the person I really love in the s6. Sadly, I never got to tell her how much important she is. She’s my best friend in the s6…pero ngayon kasi, alam ko si Ara, never ko na talaga makakasama sa work. Naiintindihan ko yung kina TJ & Pans e. Pero yung kay Ara nakalulungkot talaga. All the happy memories might just disappear. Ang drama ko…pero totoo. She’s going to be busy this school year. Baka wala na rin kaming time to talk. I’ll really miss her. At kung ga’no kaikli itong sinulat ko about her, ganun yung hirap na maisulat lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sa kanya. Hay…

TJ, Panyang, Noch, Lime, Ara and Me…will be the bestest best s6.

Ano ba iyan

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tama ba ang naging desisyon ko. May parte sa sarili kong nagsasabing, hinde! hindi ko dapat ginawa yun...Pero may nagsasabi ring tama, tama ang ginawa ko. Pero ginawa ko ba iyon dahil wala na akong pagkakataong mamili pa?

Hay naku! Nakakainis naman to.

Qualms

Di ko alam kung bakit paminsan-minsan naiisip ko pa rin na mali ang nagging desisyon kong tumakbo. Para kasing there’s no turning back now. To put it bluntly, after being HR, I don’t want to be anything more. Eventhough, a lot of times, I’ve really thought about it…I don’t think I’d be able to live up to the pressure of everything. Ewan ko ba. It just seems as if, after a year of doing the job, I still can’t seem to work things out. Well, I guess it’s because I want to prove a lot of things in this world – which apparently, I cannot. But I guess I shall take this challenge and prove myself wrong.

Time and again, I look back at that time when I dreamt of becoming the HR. And when I look back, I realize that the Jem I was before was very different. I was too idealistic before, as compared to how I am now. But then again, I guess the passion is still there. I don’t know what I am trying to say here, honestly. I’m just typing away…all the thoughts that come…negative things..positive things…about Strains that can either hurt me or make me happy.

But in the end, I guess all the doubts and fears should still be faced. I should still live up to the expectations of a lot of people, to some point. I don’t really know what will happen in the future, but I would surely be in control of the things I would be doing. Oh well…one step at a time. I can’t possibly save the whole world before my bedtime. And I can’t possible save everyone in my world in a day. But I guess I can…eventually.

Excerpts from a touching letter

the more you hate, the more you love

...you are the ultimate loving machine

kung lagi mong iisipin ang sarili mo before others, mablo-block ang view mo sa kanila, you won’t see their needs and weaknesses.

You have to see past yourself to see others.
=====

Each day that passes by...i hate you more and more!

Nalilito

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